


How do you become evil?

by justmedownhereagain



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Comfort, Hurt, poem-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8508523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmedownhereagain/pseuds/justmedownhereagain
Summary: "How does such a gentle soul become evil, mother?" "Oh it is quite simple my dear. It loves someone who betrays it."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The poem (in italic) is not by me, I don't know the original author though.

She was unbreakable. Should one try to break her, she would gather herself so easily one would question if she even noticed. She walked with her back straight, her head held high, and she was magnificent. Any crude word spoken was answered in turn, all attempts at physical destruction was whisked away by a single movement and every single time she was pulled under the water, she clawed her way back to the surface. It was who she was. Who she had been taught to be, and who she had been made to become.   
Then she broke. It was not gracefully, it was not slowly. It was not a storm which could roar in your ears for days on end. It was like a lightening strike. One betrayal she had never expected. Maybe it was because it was so unexpected, or maybe it was simply that her fragile frame could do no more. Her porcelain skin had been battered and cracked and this single blow was what tore her to pieces. It was terrifying, seeing someone who used to be so strong, so kind, lose herself to darkness after striking with blinding light and seething warm fury.

She always laughed. Her laughter was so beautiful. It was a melody, a song, a thousand mysterious tales all wrapped together in the bell chimes of laughter. Once you heard it, every fiber of your being wanted to hear it again. You would do anything to see that smile, and hear that laugh, just one more time, even if it cost you your life. She would laugh at jokes, she would laugh off injury, she would laugh at the whole world as she carried it on her shoulders. Then she cried. All the tears she had held back through her entire life, came crumbling down upon her.   
The world trembled around her as it tore her apart, feeling the way her heart splintered into a million pieces. It rained and rained and rained with tears, for days on end, and one would think the sun would never come back. She cried her heart out, and all her compassion with it.

She did everything she could. She was a proper young lady, a ward most wonderful in nature. She fought with the boys and dressed up nicely when they had visits. she knew all of her manners and she never spoke out of turn, unless it was most urgent. She bowed her head when the prince came walking, and looked the villagers in the eyes when they passed. She ignored that the world was cruel, because only when you saw the light, could you follow it. She let herself be an outcast without anyone knowing she was, and she held it all in until she no longer could.   
It was a fight. It was a war inside of her, raging havoc in her every cell. It frightened her to the bone, and it tore her apart, limb for limb, piece by piece. It ripped at every edge there was, until she had gaping holes in her soul, and it pained her so much that she could no longer hold it all in.

_The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke._   
_The girl who always laughed, cried._   
_The girl that never stopped trying finally gave up._

She could handle that the world was against her. She could understand that she must never divulge who she truly were, for the sake of everyones sanity, and she could live with people dying around her. What she could not take, that which broke her, was betrayal. She had given her everything to those around her, and here she lay, dying. Poisoned by a friend who vowed to protect her. So she let it all out. She let the goodness flee her body and mind, and let darkness overcome her. She opened her soul to all the power that she could muster, such that she would never feel such betrayal again. Such that she could never love only to be betrayed.

_She dropped her fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek, and she whispered to herself, “I can’t do this anymore."_

**Author's Note:**

> Should anyone be in doubt, the poem is about Morgana and the time Merlin poisoned her to save Camelot. Though it also relates to everything else happening to her in the series.


End file.
